I’ve come to realise two things. Firstly, as much as I love blogging and the amazing feeling I get when I publish a post, I struggle to think of what to blog about half the time. And as much as writer’s block is a thing, this is a little weird for me because I almost always have a lot to say and I’m forever sending my friends really long WhatsApp voice notes talking about everything and nothing at all. Secondly, not all my blog posts have to be centred around a special event or milestone. With that being said, I’d like to introduce Michelle’s Random Thoughts, a (hopefully) weekly feature that will be dedicated to writing about whatever random thought pops into my head.
My first random thought: why do we care so much about what other people think of us? This is a characteristic that many people have, and that does us more harm than good. Sometimes this is just a personality trait, other times it’s been ingrained in you due to culture and social media. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I decided not to wear a particular outfit I felt I looked really good in out of fear of what others may think of it, or how many times I haven’t been true to myself and decided not to do things that make me happy because of it. I know that many people struggle with this, and all it ever really does is make us miserable and resentful. And while I haven’t gotten to the stage where I’m completely carefree, I realise how harmful that ‘what will people think’ mentality is to my growth and happiness, and I’m taking baby steps to finally put an end to it.
What I want to start by sharing is that people have to learn to live life unapologetically, because it’s too valuable and precious to be lived any other way. When you’re older and look back at your life, the last thing you want is to be filled with regret because of all the opportunities missed and all the things you didn’t say or do simply because you cared too much about opinions and thoughts that never mattered. The people whose opinions you care about so much are probably living their lives to the fullest, and you should too. It’s your life, and no one else’s. And do you know what that means? It means you get to live it the way you want, and make the choices that you want to make, regardless of what other people will think, and what choices they would make if they were in your shoes. Once again, it’s your life. Internalise that, repeat it over and over in your mind and realise just how powerful and freeing that statement is. Or just sing Bon Jovi’s It’s My Life at the top of your lungs as much as you can…that could work too.
Another thing important to realise is you’re the main character only in your life. People don’t think about you as much as you think they do, because they have their own lives to focus on. And even if they do think about and form opinions about you, it’s all fleeting anyway. No one is judging or thinking about you 24/7, so do what you want!
Now I know it’s not easy to go from caring to not caring at all. It takes a lot of time and patience, and sometimes, it’ll feel like you’ve taken one step forward and two steps back. The important thing is to never give up, keep looking forward, and celebrate the small victories. So dye your hair, get that tattoo, go to a karaoke night and sing your heart out, get on a jumping castle and jump to your heart’s content (something I really want to do – and yes, I’m 25 and still love jumping castles). Do all the things you want to do regardless of how many people are watching or how scared you are. Being carefree can be uncomfortable sometimes when you’re not used it, but the life you want to live requires you to step outside of your comfort zone. So do it!
Do you also struggle with being carefree? Let me know in the comments and share what whatever it is you do to help you live your best life. I’d love to hear from you.